Sunday, August 31, 2014

Lazy Day

Nothing terribly interesting is happening today. I am gearing up for a couple of things though. First off we have the September reading challenge starting tomorrow, which should be pretty awesome. Then, also starting tomorrow, is PCOS Awareness Month. All month long I will be posting different things on my social media accounts to help raise awareness. Twitter will be mainly facts, Facebook will probably be some links, and here will be personally opinions and stories. I will probably link back to some other PCOS blogs as well.

I was not able to post anything last night due to some technical difficulties with this "smart" phone. After a factory reset and many, many updates things are back to normal. Thanks to Google, I didn't lose any contacts, and most of my settings imported back in.

In conclusion, things are great, and this month my blog should start getting more interesting. I think that I heard somewhere that it takes between twenty and thirty days for something to become a habit. So, I'm hoping to keep up on the posts for a full thirty days so that it will become a habit. Also, I hope my blogs grow and become better over time.

Friday, August 29, 2014

September Reading Challenge

Hello there! Here is the follow up to last nights post. The name of the challenge is "Read-Along With Me". Click on the link to view the full details, but I will list a few highlights. There are 10 categories, and you choose one book for each one that meets it's requirements. For example, the first category is September Release, so you have to pick a book released in September of 2014. Not everyone can read at the same speed, so the challenge founder is fully aware that many people will not be able to read all 10 in a month; it's a guideline. The challenge begins on the 1st and ends on the 31st. She also has a list of suggestions for each category, but you can choose any that fit the description. I hope to see others join in!

Below is my official list, I do have more books for each category, incase something happens and one of the books is unavailable.

Start Date: 1st September
End Date: 30th September

✰ September Release ✰  The Secret Place by Tana French
✰ National Dog Week ✰  Marley & Me by John Grogan
✰ National Chocolate Milkshake Day ✰  Save the Date by Mary Kay Andrews
✰ Freddie Mercury's Birthday ✰  Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn
✰ Very First Comic Strip Printed ✰  Anya's Ghost by Vera Brosgol
✰ Band-Aids Were Invented ✰  One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
✰ Labor Day ✰  Twelve Years a Slave by Solomon Northup
✰ World War II Began ✰  The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
✰ Sapphire Is September's Birthstone ✰  Divergent by Veronica Roth
✰ Your Moderator's Birthday Month ✰
Matilda by Roald Dahl

Thursday, August 28, 2014


I've been wanting to read more books and branch out from my normal Young Adult novels, so I've decided to do a reading challenge for September. I will post more specifics about it tomorrow. For now, I will list a few books that I'm going to read: Matilda by Roald Dahl, Twelve Years a Slave by Solomon Northop, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey. I will be writing some sort of review after I finish each book.
I've stated in an earlier post that I am dyslexic, so I won't be reading in the traditional sense; I will be using audio books. The nice thing about audio books is multitasking.  I can listen in the car, at work, at home, anywhere. If this challenge turns out well, I may continue on with other challenges. If anyone has any good suggestions, please pass them on.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014


Update anyone? I really want to become a better blogger, so I have decided to set a reminder to post a blog everyday. I will be using a site that has writing prompts when I am at a loss of what to talk about; hopefully I won't need it often.

Now for the important stuff. The last eight months have been hell. I started my infertility journey and we lost two of the greatest people in the world. My Grandma passed December 20, 2013, two days after my Grandpa's birthday, and my Grandpa passed June 27, 2014, nine days after my Grandma's birthday. We didn't expect either of them to pass, especially this close together. It has been a long and hard grieving process, which has been hindered by family arguments. At this point though, I'm not going to delve into that drama; I'm choosing to be Switzerland.

Rest in Peace
In light of all of the stress and depression, I have decided to step away from trying to conceive until other issues have been resolved. That said, I will still be taking a proactive stance. Since one of my cysts is continuing to grow, I feel it would be best to go on birth control to help shrink/remove the cysts. During this time, I will be working on losing more weight, eating better, and still trying to stop smoking. I feel that I need to work on myself, mentally, physically, and emotionally, before I can bring a baby into my life.

Finally, I saw a post on Facebook today, it was on a private group that I am a  member of, I think that it perfectly sums up how most women struggling with PCOS feel. Since it is a private group, most people will never see these heartbreaking, yet empowering, words. PCOS sucks

"People ask me how I feel. So here it is
Worthless: worthless because I can't give my husband a child. Worthless because I can't give my parents a grandchild. Worthless because my body doesn't work like it should. Worthless because every medicine every treatment that I have done has failed. Worthless because I still can not pass a test. Worthless because I have been stuck at this same weight now for a week. Ugly: Ugly because i have to remove all kinds of hair from my face on a daily basis. Ugly because no matter how many times I pluck, shave or wax the hair seems to reappear by 6:00 pm. Ugly because I break out with acne all over my face at random times. Ugly because of my skanky feet that no matter how hard I try I cannot scrub the funk away.
Depressed: Depressed because all of my friends have children and they tell all these stories their kids do and I'm like well... Guess what my cat did. Depressed because I see the way my husband looks at kids. Depressed because I know that I don't deserve my husband. Depressed because it seems like my whole family including my husband has given up hope that we will ever have kids or our own. Crazy: crazy because how can you miss/love something or someone sooo much that you don't even know. Crazy because every month I still think that it will be the month that the test shows a + instead of a -. Pain: pain because of all the meds that I am on. Pain because it seems like every day cyst burst inside me and it takes all I have in me not to cry. Pain because there isn't one minute that goes by that my body doesn't hurt. Pain because I'm so scared that I will never get to hold our own baby girl or boy. Never until I started on this journey of trying to get pregnant did I know that one person can feel sooo many different things at one time. Never until I started this journey did I know that I would take comfort from not only my husband but from complete strangers. Never until I started on this journey of trying to get pregnant did I know how truly strong mine and my husbands relationship is. He tries soo hard to be there for me and to understand what I'm going through and I guess in some ways he does, but in others ways he has no idea. Never until I started on this journey of getting pregnant did I know how much I truly needed my husband to be there. Through all my crazy messed up emotions. Through all my good days and bad days. Every time I go through a depressed stage, mad stage or just an emotional stage. I never knew how much I leaned on him and needed him until then. Most importantly. Never until I started on this journey of trying to get pregnant did I know how strong I was. I always thought that I was the weak sister. The sister who didn't have any fight in her. But, I know that I do. I know I still have some fight in me because I manage to get up every morning and go to work even though I'm dying on the inside.
The sad thing is after reading through all these emotions and these words. I realize that my feelings change every minute every second another negative thought pops in my head. I just wish there was a way to keep them out."
~Quoted from Monica, PCOS TTC, Facebook